Tuesday, November 4th, 2008
So, it's finally over. Streamers, confetti, a panoply of speech-like phenomena, and at last we can return to regular programming. Presumably, Sarah Palin will return to Alaska, for which we're all grateful (unless we happen to be in Alaska). John McCain will go on to do pretty much whatever he'd like - if history is any indicator, he might show up in Pepsi ads opposite Britney Spears. Springsteen will still be the Boss, and George W. Bush will likely still be the boss of something. Throngs of reporters will return to their overrun homes, hack away the kudzu, drive out the mice, pay the phone bill, and generally be grateful to never hear the word "maverick" again.
And what about the remarkable story of Barack Obama? I'm not sure what to say. There's no clever quip that can possibly sum up the significance of what has happened. I have lived to see a black president, and more importantly, I have lived to see so many people support a black president. This is a country on the verge of economic ruins, ragged with war, but it's a free country. It's a free country again, with one less dream deferred. Our union has become more perfect today.
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Wednesday, February 20th, 2008
AD HOC: Anonymous, Distributed Herd Of Cats
Example: Anonymous.
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Thursday, January 24th, 2008
I have poems in the winter 2007 issue of The Missouri Review. I'm not positive, but I think it should be available at your local franchise book store by now.
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Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008
The Eyak language became extinct today. Think of all the languages you'll never learn, because there isn't enough time. I think of a Quiche passage from the Popul Vuh, the Mayan book of counsel:
We shall whisper the origin. We shall whisper the story and the tale, and that is all. One thing only we do, and that is to return; we have fulfilled our task, and our days are done.
Think of us, blot us not from your memory, consign us not to oblivion.
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Wednesday, January 16th, 2008
Design flaws in the Star Trek universe:
1. Federation uniforms tear too easily.
This is an advanced civilization capable of manufacturing transparent aluminum and machines that whip up hot fudge sundaes from thin air. And yet, they couldn't come up with material that wouldn't tear every time Kirk got into a tussle. Did the Federation ramp up its space-faring technology at the cost of the garment industry or something? Was there a surplus of Lycra? We'll never know. They appear to have solved this problem, of course - but it took them an entire generation to do so.
2. Federation starships have no bathrooms.
Seriously, where are the toilets on these things? It sort of makes sense to not have them on Klingon ships, as we all know the Klingons would rather beam down to some random planet and piss for distance. But what about the nice civilized Federation craft? Maybe you just hop into the transporter, and it magically teleports waste out of you? Maybe later starships have a special WC holodeck program? Or maybe you just go in a replicator, and it transforms your waste into a plate of poached salmon?
3. Next Generation uniforms have no zippers.
Take a look at Ryker in this photo. Doesn't he look a little antsy? Kinda like someone who's "holding it?" This is probably because his uniform doesn't have a zipper. It probably doesn't matter much since there are no freakin' bathrooms on the ship anyway. Maybe this is why Federation uniforms tear so easily, so you can get out of one in time to relieve yourself in a replicator and enjoy a nice plate of salmon?
4. Computers explode at the slightest provocation.
In the centuries between the present and the big fat Federation, it appears that both the garment and fuse industries dried up. If the latter had remained vital, maybe consoles on Federation starships wouldn't burst into flames every time the ship took a sharp turn. The great thing about the future is that computers are really really powerful - like, you can check your email and play Freecell all at the same time. Unfortunately, this incredible power results in incredible explosions when things go wrong - like when the ship is hit by a photon torpedo, or you spill a glass of synth ale. What are these things powered with, anyway? TNT?
5. No seatbelts, no airbags.
I don't think I really need to explain this one.
More later.
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